TV Upfronts: Day Two - ABC

For a true TV junkie, the upfronts serve as a chance to gorge oneself on the possibilities that the coming TV season will bring. Where are your favorite shows moving to? Which ones have been cruelly axed by their network? What new shows should you most be looking forward to? It’s a great time to love TV.

One thing that’s important to remember: This is basically a multi-billion dollar game of chicken, so these schedules are most definitely subject to change but for now, here’s what ABC has to offer starting in September:

Mondays
8 – Dancing With The Stars
9:30 – Sam I Am
10 – The Bachelor

Tuesdays
8 – Cavemen
8:30 – Carpoolers
9 – Dancing With The Stars: The Results Show
10 – Boston Legal

Wednesdays
8 – Pushing Daisies
9 – Private Practice
10 – Dirty Sexy Money

Thursdays
8 – Ugly Betty
9 – Grey’s Anatomy
10 – Big Shots

Fridays
8 – Men In Trees
9 – Women’s Murder Club
10 – 20/20

Saturdays
8-11 – Saturday Night College Football

Sundays
7 – America’s Funniest Home Videos
8 – Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
9 – Desperate Housewives
10 – Brothers & Sisters

Note:
Cashmere Mafia, Notes From The Underbelly, and October Road will premiere after Dancing With The Stars and The Bachelor conclude their fall cycles.

The Big News:
*ABC is showing remarkable ambition by ordering an insane total of 11 new series, which is a much, much higher number than networks generally order. Since television networks have to go all out to make audiences aware of new shows, they typically cost more to advertise than established shows do. Ordering this many freshman series is a costly gamble for ABC as they seem to be throwing a bunch of crap against the wall in an attempt to see what sticks. Luckily for them, they seem to have more than a few interesting projects (Pushing Daisies, Private Practice, Dirty Sexy Money, Eli Stone) that have a chance to work.

*Networks are usually loathe to schedule an entire night of new programming but that’s just what ABC is doing with their potential winner of a Wednesday night lineup. Leading off the evening is the high-concept Pushing Daisies, which is garnering the best buzz of any new project, with one source even calling it the best pilot they’ve ever seen. It will be followed at 9PM by Private Practice, which probably has the most breakout potential of any new series as it’s a spinoff of the uber-popular Grey’s Anatomy. It even got a headstart on the 2007 fall season when it in essence aired its pilot smack-dab in the middle of an episode of Grey’s Anatomy earlier this month. Rounding out the night is a throwback to the days of the nighttime soap, Dirty Sexy Money, which has been described as Dynasty with better acting. It’s a big risk scheduling three new series on the same night but ABC has, in all likelihood, packed its three best projects into one appealing night.

*After rocking the television world at last year’s upfronts by boldly moving Grey’s Anatomy into the crosshairs of CSI, ABC has not planned any such drastic moves for fall 2007. Both of its flagship nights (Sunday and Thursday) are staying relatively intact, with the only change being the addition of newcomer Big Shots in the coveted post-Grey’s Anatomy time slot. Which leads us to...

*Big Shots winning the most sought-after piece of real estate on ABC’s schedule. This past season saw a litany of shows (let’s name ‘em, just for fun – Six Degrees, Men In Trees, October Road, Notes From The Underbelly, Traveler) try and fail to hold onto a sizable piece of the audience for ABC’s biggest hit. Big Shots, which looks like a male version of Sex & The City, will be the latest to try. Will it succeed where so many others have failed? The guess here? Probably not.

*Lost is conspicuous by its absence from the fall schedule, but this is actually a good thing. ABC will hold the former mainstream and current cult hit off until January or February when it will air its shortened fourth season over 16 consecutive weeks. This is actually the best way for a series of this kind to play out and it should prove interesting to see if viewers who bailed on the show return in the wake of ABC announcing an end date of 2010 last week. If you’re one of those who fell off of the bandwagon, you’re currently missing a resurrection that rivals Lazarus. Lost has once again become appointment television, albeit in the cult form that it really always was at heart, despite its early monster (no pun intended) hit status. ABC has not announced where the show will air but has hinted that it won’t be returning to its current 10PM time slot, which can only serve to help its ratings woes.

*Finally, one of ABC’s new sitcoms is an adaptation of the GEICO cavemen ads titled (creatively) Cavemen. This may actually be the worst idea in the history of television. Take a painfully unfunny series of commercials – I repeat, COMMERCIALS – and make them into a weekly TV show. What’s next? A series based on the creepy king from the Burger King commercials? Maybe one starring the animated mucus balls from the Mucinex spots? I’m starting to get how this works and I’ve come up with a brilliant idea. You know those banner ads that you see online that tell you that you can win an iPod if you swat the buzzing fly? Yeah, I’m gonna pitch a series based on that and make millions! I’m gonna be rich, beyotch! As a friend put it – and I paraphrase – Americans are stupid and don’t want to think when they watch TV, so Cavemen will probably be the biggest hit of the season, causing a little piece of my soul to die.

Back tomorrow with CBS.