TV Upfronts: Day Four And A Half - The CW

For a true TV junkie, the upfronts serve as a chance to gorge oneself on the possibilities that the coming TV season will bring. Where are your favorite shows moving to? Which ones have been cruelly axed by their network? What new shows should you most be looking forward to? It’s a great time to love TV.

One thing that’s important to remember: This is basically a multi-billion dollar game of chicken, so these schedules are most definitely subject to change but for now, here’s what The CW has to offer starting in September:

Mondays
8 – Everybody Hates Chris
8:30 – Aliens In America
9:00 – Girlfriends
9:30 – The Game

Tuesdays
8 – Beauty And The Geek
9 – Reaper

Wednesdays
8 – America’s Next Top Model
9 – Gossip Girl

Thursdays
8 – Smallville
9 – Supernatural

Fridays
8-10 – Friday Night SmackDown!

Saturdays
No Programming

Sundays
7 – CW Now
7:30 – Online Nation
8 – Life Is Wild
9 – America’s Next Top Model (Encore)

Note:
One Tree Hill, The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll, Farmer Wants A Wife, and Crowned: The Mother Of All Pageants will return/premiere at midseason.

The Big News:
*An encore (which is the politically correct way of saying “repeat”) of America’s Next Top Model. Another Pussycat Skank competition. Something called “Farmer Wants A Wife.” What do all of these shows have in common (other than that they appeal to people who are borderline retarded)? The answer: They’ve all been given a place on The CW’s schedule instead of Veronica Mars. Now, it’s hard to justify bringing back a show whose ratings were as dismal as those of Veronica Mars. I’m not disputing that – but considering what it’s being replaced by? I can feel the bile coming to the surface in the back of my throat as I write this. Veronica Mars was one of the smartest, funniest, most well-written and well-acted shows on television. Kristen Bell is a friggin’ goddess as well as being a supremely talented actress. AND it was basically the only show on this joke of a network that garnered any kind of critical buzz. You mean to tell me that there isn’t a place on this piece of shit network for a show like that? Fuck The CW with a rusty jackhammer.

*We pause now for a brief public service announcement: Anyone who finds The CW’s Sunday night lineup even remotely appealing should be kicked in the junk repeatedly and violently so as to discourage breeding.

*Although Reaper has been getting some positive initial reaction the fact remains that it is still a concept that has already been done, not to mention one that failed miserably. Time will tell, but Tuesdays at 9 were much better this season. Quick – guess what aired in that slot?

*Gossip Girl is widely anticipated as it is the latest project by the creator of The OC, Josh Schwartz. It’s got the potential for a built-in audience since it’s being adapted by the popular series of books by the same name, and it's probably The CW’s best hope for a hit. Recognizing this, it’s been scheduled after The CW’s top rated show, America’s Next Top Model (it actually pained me to type that last sentence). Veronica Mars fans like myself can take some small measure of solace in knowing that Kristen Bell is onboard as the never-seen Gossip Girl herself, who narrates the series. Hey – I takes ‘em where I can gets ‘em.

*Finally, watch Supernatural. I wish to God this show was on another network because it’s good and I don’t want to see The CW cancel another one of my favorite shows. Please watch. Please.

With that, the upfronts are over. It’s looking like a pretty lackluster slate of shows for this fall but over the next few months we’ll do our best to help you wade through the muck and find a couple that may actually be worth your time. You’re welcome.