Quick 'N Dirty Review: Massive Attack | Heligoland

Before we start, here's a quick look at the rating system that we use here at The Dirtywhirl:

100 - Classic Album; One Of The Best Of All Time
99-90 - Exceptional Work; Rush Out And Get This
89-80 - Very, Very Good; You Should Still Go Out And Get This
79-70 - Not Bad At All; Might Actually Be Worth Your Time
69-60 - Has Its Moments But On The Whole... Meh
59-50 - Won't Make Your Ears Bleed; Won't Make You Dance, Either
49-0 - Don't Waste Your Time; You're Smarter Than This (Probably) 

Now... onto the review:

Massive Attack | Heligoland

It's difficult to find anything sadder than a once proud athlete who can't stomach the thought of retiring, instead deciding to hang on for a year or two too long only to become a shell of what he used to be. Emmitt Smith sputtering out with the Arizona Cardinals. Patrick Ewing riding the pine with the Orlando Magic. Mike Piazza pinch-hitting for the Oakland A's. These guys were icons in their respective sports but finished as, well... jokes. Sadly, trip-hop legends Massive Attack are rapidly approaching that point as they offer up their fifth studio record, Heligoland. As the founding fathers of trip-hop, Massive Attack was at the forefront of cool in the early 90s. Blue Lines is a certifiable classic and they spawned a genre unto themselves that gave us the likes of Portishead, Tricky, and Faithless. By the time that Heligoland is done spinning, you'll be wondering where the old Massive Attack went because in their places are a trio of dudes who seem world-weary and rudderless. They've become OLD Massive Attack, as it were. Much of the record is just drawn out and just plain boring, like opener "Pray For Rain" where TV On The Radio's Tunde Adebimpe tones over and over "And their necks crane/ As they turn and pray for rain" to an annoying level over a lazy and uninspired beat. "Flat Of The Blade" sees Massive Attack waste yet another quality guest in Elbow's Guy Garvey by pushing his vocals WAAAAAY down in the mix in favor of what sounds like beeping hospital equipment that provides a messy rhythm, while they straight up copy Air on "Rush Minute" and themselves on "Babel" and "Girl I Love You." There are moments, few and far between as they are, that suggest that Massive Attack may still have a little left to give. The pulsating "Splitting The Atom" was originally previewed on last year's EP of the same name and is a welcome inclusion here, while "Paradise Circus" stands out as an oasis in a desert of mediocrity. Could be that I'm a whore for guest vocalist Hope Sandoval or that the track's handclaps are ridiculously infectious but this is the best track on the record by miles, gimmicky 70s porn video aside. Massive Attack is now entering their third decade of releasing music so it's natural that they'd be in the twilight of their careers but Heligoland is a record defined by its mediocrity. Painful though it may be, might be time to start thinking about calling it a career.

RIYL: Trip-hop; Hope Sandoval; Nostalgia; Bands who aren't what they used to be

Standout Tracks: "Paradise Circus;" "Splitting The Atom;" "Atlas Air"

Dirty Rating: 58/100

Heligoland - Massive Attack

Warning: The following video is very, very NSFW. You've been warned.

Massive Attack, “Paradise Circus” featuring Hope Sandoval | Triphop Blog
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