Quick 'N Dirty Review: The Album Leaf | A Chorus Of Storytellers

Before we start, here's a quick look at the rating system that we use here at The Dirtywhirl:

100 - Classic Album; One Of The Best Of All Time
99-90 - Exceptional Work; Rush Out And Get This
89-80 - Very, Very Good; You Should Still Go Out And Get This
79-70 - Not Bad At All; Might Actually Be Worth Your Time
69-60 - Has Its Moments But On The Whole... Meh
59-50 - Won't Make Your Ears Bleed; Won't Make You Dance, Either
49-0 - Don't Waste Your Time; You're Smarter Than This (Probably) 

Now... onto the review:

The Album Leaf | A Chorus Of Storytellers

Just as it takes a village to raise a child, it apparently takes A Chorus Of Storytellers to spin a tale that's as boring as shit. There's probably any number of different things that could be listed that can elicit the same effect as listening to The Album Leaf's latest release, A Chorus Of Storytellers. Gazing at a blank wall, for instance. Or, staring at a linoleum floor. Even counting ceiling tiles would work. Essentially, any pointless activity would be akin to listening to this record for 50 mind-numbing minutes. Really, it's not like Album Leaf records are likely to wow you, but Album Leaf mastermind Jimmy LaValle has done some stellar work in the past (particularly on 2004's In A Safe Place), which is part of what makes A Chorus Of Storytellers so frustrating. Its tracks are so interchangeable in their indistinguishability that "Within Dreams" might as well be "Summer Fog" which might as well be "Almost There." And honestly, with song titles like "Blank Pages" and "Stand Still," LaValle is making it much too easy to mock the record's banality. Nothing here makes a positive impression and almost everything about it will leave your mind the minute the track ends. It's very difficult to avoid checking out before the album's over because it's so ineffectual and, it's not even that it's actively awful - there's at least a perverse joy in mocking a record like that - it's just that it's so... bland and that's often the worst offense an album can commit. What's even more galling is that one of the only songs that has a chance to be anything, "Falling From The Sun," is tainted by a skittering blip that appears at random points during the track, making it sound like a download that's gone haywire. It's a very annoying element and, as is this album's wont, seems to be intentional for some inexplicable reason. Was the intent to piss off the listener? To evoke some kind of emotion, even of the negative variety? It's very difficult to imagine that anyone who's introduced to The Album Leaf via A Chorus Of Storytellers would feel compelled to check in on any future releases as this record is essentially background music that background music would listen to and for longtime fans it's probably an album that accomplishes nothing more than raising the question of whether In A Safe Place is was anything more than a wonderful fluke.

RIYL: Watching paint dry; Disappointment; Wasted talent

Standout Tracks: None

Dirty Rating: 21/100

A Chorus Of Storytellers - The...