August DVD Preview

Here now, The Dirtywhirl copies its own idea and previews the latest movies and television series arriving in August on DVD. By the end of the preview, there will be a price that you must pay for our trouble, but we know that you can handle it. Probably. Giddyup:

8/7
Disturbia – Steven Spielberg’s newest project, Shia LeBeuof (Transformers), makes like a prepubescent Jimmy Stewart as he thinks he witnesses an unspeakable act committed by a neighbor in an update of Rear Window aimed at the tween audience.

I Think I Love My Wife – Chris Rock (The Longest Yard) tries yet again to be as funny in film as he is as a standup comedian. Eighteenth time’s the charm, right?

Rome: The Complete Second Season – The second and final season of HBO and the BBC’s joint production arrives. This was once believed to be HBO’s next prestige project but turned out to be a very expensive soap opera, albeit a frequently entertaining one.

The Simpsons: The Complete Tenth Season – Timed to nicely coincide with the release of The Simpsons Movie in theaters, the tenth season of one of America’s comedy institutions includes such classic episodes as “The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace,” “When You Dish Upon A Star,” and “Homer To The Max” and as an added bonus contains the following immortal lyrics: “Max Power, he's the man who's name you'd love to touch! But you mustn't touch! His name sounds good in your ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear! 'Cause his name can be said by anyone!”

Full House: The Complete Seventh Season – Otherwise known as the worst sitcom of all time.

Home Improvement: The Complete Seventh Season - I stand corrected.

TMNT [Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles] – If this means that a My Little Pony movie isn’t far behind, I quit.

8/14
Fracture – Ryan Gosling (Half Nelson) goes one-on-one with Anthony Hopkins (All The King’s Men). The movie could be shit and I’d still watch just to see that face-off.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie – Future cult classic alert. If you’re not amused by a talking milkshake, look elsewhere this month.

Inland Empire – David Lynch’s (Mulholland Drive) latest kinda fell under the radar during its theatrical release but the guy’s a master. There’s no reason that you shouldn’t check this out.

Wild Hogs – Fuck you, America for letting this film gross close to $200 million theatrically. Fuck you so hard.

8/21
The Ex – Full disclosure: I’m a Zach Braff whore. That being said, Braff (Scrubs) co-stars with Jason Bateman (Arrested Development), Paul Rudd (Knocked Up), and Amy Poehler (SNL) as a man who starts a feud with a guy in a wheelchair– how can that not be friggin’ hilarious?

House: Season Three – If you have the first season (or the second season), then you essentially have season three as well. Don’t bother.

Dexter: The First Season – Michael C. Hall (Six Feet Under) stars as a forensic specialist who moonlights as a serial killer in the first season of Showtime’s dark and well-received original series. For those who are too cheap to pony up for Showtime (myself included) here’s a chance to see what you’re missing.

Ugly Betty: The Complete First Season – If you avoid this chance to catch up on the first season of Ugly Betty, then… well… good for you.

Perfect Stranger – Bruce Willis (Hudson Hawk) and Halle Berry (Catwoman) square off to see whose cinematic turd pile was stinkier.

8/28
Blades Of Glory – Will Ferrell (Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby) and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) play a pair of disgraced, rival figure skaters. Bonus for casting the genius Will Arnett (Arrested Development) and the aforementioned Amy Poehler as their ultimate competition. One of the only films this year whose box office gross was probably deserved.

Year Of The Dog – Molly Shannon (SNL) stars in writer Mike White’s (The School Of Rock) directorial debut as a woman who was very had a very close relationship with her recently deceased pooch. Ugh… not in that way you fucking freak.

Heroes: Season One – I, for one, cannot wait to see how this series plays on DVD. The ability to pick up on the labyrinthine (and brilliant) plot in larger chunks is incredibly appealing. The closest thing you’ll ever find to a filmed comic book, this would have been the top new series of the 2006 TV season if not for…

THE DIRTYWHIRL'S PICK FOR THE BEST OF AUGUST
Friday Night Lights: The Complete First Season – Best new series of 2006 by far. Boasting some of the best writing and acting of any current television series, Friday Night Lights has been criminally overlooked by far too many viewers. Do me a personal favor and watch this. I hesitate to go the guilt trip route, but I provide you all with entertainment guidance on a regular basis and have never asked for anything in return until now. This show is THAT good. Buy or Netflix this. That’s an order.